What I want for Christmas is

Dear Santa,

                I am writing a letter to you because I want you to know what I want this Christmas.

I don’t think I believe in you, but I think I am a little drunk tonight to be thinking straight. So here goes… hope you understand my handwriting though because whoever thought about arranging these alphabets on my keyboard didn’t do a great job.

I’m putting a stone in my pocket right now to remember to send this letter to Santa from the North Pole and not to Santa Singh. I don’t know how Santa Singh can bear to be the brunt of all the jokes. If I were in his place I would kill myself or rather drown my sorrows in booze. Talking about booze; let me fill my glass, after I finish it.

Ahhh, that’s better. Now where were we? Oh yeah, what I want for Christmas is…. But first tell me how you are going to deliver it. Let me tell you how to get to my house the easiest way. I think the easiest way for you would be by telling you the closest chimney to my house, looking at the way you make deliveries. Well, on the outskirts of my town – he-he outskirts is a funny word – there is big distillery with two big chimneys. Just south of these chimneys across the creek is my village. You will find a huge glow sign advertising beer and in the adjacent street there is a Wine shop. Going southwards from the wine shop you will reach a bar from where you need to go leftwards till you reach Marianna’s Pub. Don’t get confused, they don’t serve alcohol in there, it’s only a coffee bar. Anyways, just behind that compound where I recycle my empty bottles there is a wishing well. I have thrown many a coin while coming home with none of my wishes coming true. Just ignore the church on the right and you will have reached my house. All this talk about bars has made me thirsty. Where’s my glass?

That better. Okay, now please don’t try climbing in from my backyard, because of my neighbour’s dog. He is a very talkative dog and tries to communicate in his language which we do not understand. But I think you would understand because you can talk to your reindeer friends. So do tell it that I don’t understand its language, especially when I come home drunk.

Do just keep an eye for me along the way you came. I sometimes like to rest till I’m ready for another drink.  Also to avoid my neighbor’s dog I sometimes sleep outside the fence, so if you find me at these places you can directly deliver my gift to me. Did I tell you I don’t have a chimney in my house?  Anyways delivery is your problem. So I’m going to get straight to what I want for Christmas. Let me make a drink first.

I was wondering how big a gift can you deliver. But before I go into that and forget, let me just put my signature first or else you won’t know whom to send the gift to. I will tell you what I want for Christmas in the postscript. Hehe, what do u know, there is a stone in my pocket.

 Cheers,

 XXX

PS: What I want for Christmas is

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