The U-turn

 

NOTE: NO PHOTOS IN THIS BLOG; ALL PICTURES ARE ADVERTISEMENTS.

Genre - Fiction

Sub-genre - Humour

Length of blog - 2600 words

“Let’s get this pardy started”, there was the thick US accent again.

Xrini heard his nemesis better this time. It was clear as daylight – the US foreign accent. They were already dancing, and the party had started at seven. He saw Sofia laugh at the accent. This dark-skinned Indian guy was a U.S.A return and he was hitting on Sofia, the same girl Xrini was eyeing.

“Don’t drink too much”, Shane had advised Xrini as they had entered the club, “If you stick around, you might get lucky tonight”

The evening had started as D’s birthday celebration and after the bill was paid - way past closing time - the party shifted to another place for the afterparty. And the girl Xrini was interested in, was there too. In fact, Xrini was pretty sure, it was her place which they had landed at.

“Is this her place?”, Xrini pointed out Sofia from the bunch of girls that trotted in and out of one of the rooms.

He refused to believe it was Sofia’s place. He wondered how she could afford to stay in Bandra – one of the most expensive places in Bombay. Maybe she did not stay alone, maybe she had roomies, or maybe her folks were away for the weekend.

“Is this your room?”, he asked one of the girls as she walked past.

“Nah this is Sofia’s”, she said and ducked into the room.

Xrini looked around, all the guys seemed to be waiting for something to happen. Xrini knocked on the door lightly. A head popped out.

“Hey, we are all waiting out here, would you’ll care to join us”, he was speaking above the head, to make sure his voice entered the room.

He trotted to Shane and said, “A tad louder music would help.”

Slowly but steadily, they had started grooving as a group.

“So how do you afford to stay alone here”, Xrini tried to make conversation with Sofia.

They had brushed together while dancing.

Sofia’s shoulders had come up; as if in a dance move. And hands raised upwards she moved away. Two to three times of trying to catch her eye again, did not work. Xrini stepped away towards his whisky glass.

He saw the US return guy shoulder his way towards Sofia. He saw her move away – rolling her eyes. Xrini smiled to himself. Xrini then tried to dance towards her but did not get close. She seemed to be in the centre surrounded by her girlies and then the handful of guys dancing around them; to woo them girls. At one point, he got close to within speaking distance and then his competitor seemed to reach her side before him.

A number ended; someone turned on the kitchen light for snacks. Sofia went into the kitchen, the US-return guy followed. When Sofia returned to the group, the music had softened. She said something to her girl gang with a downwards flick of the wrist, the girls giggled. Xrini had noticed it too - the US-guy’s swing of his wrists - like a gay person.

“Hey, I was speaking to you back there”, the dark-skinned guy spoke with a thick US-accent. But his voice sounded a very thin. The short moustache, dark-skin, thin voice, US-accent and the coordinated twitch in the wrist did make him look a bit gay.

Sofia ducked into her girl-gang and continued to dance.

“So how do you afford to stay alone, I was asking earlier”, Xrini said, as soon as she passed him on the way to the kitchen.

He was right in his assumption that the hostess would be interested in anyone who would enter her kitchen and had strategically placed himself.

“Who told you that I am single?”, she turned and started to walk towards D who was perched with a couple of guys smoking at the window and continued, “Have you been telling people about my breakup?”

D waved her off. Xrini who had followed her, heard his question which was wrongly interpreted, stepped in, “I meant, alone… as in live alone in Bandra.”

The swaying US-return guy ducked and did a jig in front of Sofia. She continued to stare at D then turned around and started to walk into kitchen.

Xrini tried to continue the conversation as she brushed passed him, “Bandra being expensive, my POV. But then again relationships do breakup based on miscommunications. Hope your breakup was coz of the same reason, you’ll can patch it up tomorrow.”

She looked at Xrini and gave a timid smile. Again, the US-return guy who had raced in front of her, tried to guide Sofia towards the dance group.

“Well, I am a beautician”, Sofia turned towards Xrini avoiding the dancing US-return guy but continued to stare at his antics.

“What’s his problem?” Xrini said.

“Hey, what’s your name?” Xrini was now addressing the US-return next to Sofia.

He said something which was lost in the music and his sing-song voice.

“Look here, you seem to be thinking that you are impressing these girls, but let me tell you…”, Xrini bent towards the US-return guy and continued in his ear, “…they are laughing at your gay demeanour.”

The guy took a step back, lost a little interest as he processed what he had heard. Then turned towards group in the centre of the room and carried on dancing, with a lesser zest though.

              “So, you are a faygala”, Xrini said turning towards Sofia.

              “Oh! What’s that?”, Sofia said.

              “You haven’t seen the movie, ‘You don’t mess with the Zohan’?”, Xrini said.

              “No time ya”, Sofia said.

              “How about catching a movie tomorrow evening”, Xrini said.

              “Oh, I dunno, I’m busy. I’m always busy doing something. This house would need cleaning. I guess it’s the toll of trying to manage everything alone”, she said that and trailed off into the kitchen.

              A few more drinks and Shane stepped up, “Let’s make a move.”

Soon the party started to breakup and a few goodbyes later, three of them started towards the metro station.

“National College Metro station”, the fresh placard said.

The DN Nagar metro was recently joined to Mankhurd via BKC. Shane and his girlfriend would alight at Kurla, while Xrini, at Chembur. Lucy booked the tickets on the Metro-One app.

“Good news, I guess”, Lucy said.

“What do you mean?” Xrini said.

“You and Sofia, hmm”, Lucy smiled and continued, “You both were talking pretty seriously. No smiles were involved.”

“Dunno, I asked her for a movie”, Xrini continued, “She just had a breakup, so everything is grey”

“Next stop Bandra. Alight here for Western railway”, the announcement was made by the metro train.

“These Bandra girls are fast”, Shane said.

“I was thinking of staying over and help with the cleaning”, Xrini said.

“Yeh, but here you are going home with us”, Shane said.

“But that would be too soon. I gave her my number and made my intentions clear”, Xrini said.

“Hmmp”, Shane grunted.

“I don’t want a one-nighter, I am in for the long run – she would’ve got that by my words and actions”, Xrini said.

“Wow, so very gentlemanly”, Lucy said.

She fluttered her eyes at Xrini and laughed. And then as if exhausted by the gesture, landed her head on Shane’s shoulder.

“And everyone out there knows she is single”, Shane said.

“Next stop MMRDA”, the speaker blared.

“She has my number”, Xrini said.

“You think D is jumping her right now?” Shane said and smiled at Xrini.

“And who was that US-return guy”, Xrini said.

“He was a cousin of one of the girlies at the party”, Lucy continued, “What a funny accent he had.”

“It was his pansy voice that made the authentic US-accent sound gay”, Shane said.

“Next stop BKC, alight here for Aqua-line”, the speaker said.

“You know she’s a hairdresser, that how she can afford to stay there”, Xrini said after a long silence.

“And did you tell her what you do?” Lucy was all in to get the full scoop.

“Well, I told her I was a Labour worker and that I would like to celebrate my Labour Day holiday on Monday with her”, Xrini said.

“Bah! You work in IT, how come you are a Labour Worker”, Shane said.

Shane was Xrini’s best friend and knew almost everything about him. Shane stayed in Thane near D’s place. D had joined the company where Xrini worked a month ago. Since, Xrini had met D at his place in Thane a couple of times, he was invited last night for D’s birthday-bash – club hopping in Bandra.

“Go to your phone”, Xrini said.

Shane smiled but did not oblige. Lucy, who was on the phone looked up.

“On your older computers – on the monitor’s right hand bottom corner you would’ve seen two small blinking computers…”, Xrini said.

“Right, we have been hearing this dialogue umpteen times”, Shane said.

“Well then, my point being, the network does depend on a physical cable, hence the Labour Law applicability of manual work done. Unlike app coders, who do not know where in the ‘Cloud’ they are working. Hence, IT-Network guys should be allowed to be part of Labour law practises”, Xrini said.

“And what to do you mean by that – ‘labour law practises’?”, Shane said.

“Dunno much, but let’s start with a public holiday declared on 1^st May – tell me in today’s day and age, who gets that week-off? 40 percent of people in the world, get the holiday - excluding Indians. Imagine the world’s 40 percent excluding the most populous country”, Xrini continued, “Coz here in Maharashtra, they celebrate it as Maharashtra Day and the rest of India has lost it in translation”.

“In the US they have a separate day – ‘Labor Day’.” He made air-quotes with two fingers as Xrini ended his rant.

“If you give this kinda jazz, Sofia will run away from you”, Lucy said.

All laughed. The silence was broken by the announcement, “Next station Kurla Terminal. Alight here for Central Railway. Alight here for Harbour Railway”

“Ok we get off here. Be alert, your stop is in three stops away”, Shane said.

As they were getting off, Shane started swaying his hips in a Mr. Bean type of way, “Wonder whether D is getting his birthday gift from Sofia right now.”

Xrini gave a fake smile through the closed glass doors of the Metro. He imagined D’s huge face puffed-up and sweaty. Xrini looked around and saw that the carriage was almost empty, except for a handful of people scattered in the compartment. He got off his seat and sat in front of a TV screen. It would distract him from D’s face.

An advertisement was on, where the Prime Minister of India was showcasing his newest idea - a universal modular battery. Usable across any type of EVs. Swappable at all charging points.

“Just remove the battery from your EV and swap it out for a charged one from a charging point nearby”, the advertisement went on, “Made to fit all vehicles. 2-wheelers, 4 wheelers.”

“About time”, Xrini said under his breath.

He thought how this was already implemented in Nigeria a decade ago and Honda had implemented it in India in 2023, but on a private level. Dunno which standard power-outlet India would decide to use? But at least some kind of progress would be made. Businesses would crop-up which would help to turn the existing fossil-fuelled vehicles into EVs. Maybe, he could swap out his petrol tank from his petrol bike and fit a new modular-chassis for the proposed modular-batteries. The electric-motor would be fitted on the wheels…

“Next station BSNL”, the metro announced.

Xrini opened his eyes. He had fallen asleep. The TV monitor played a Bollywood song. Had he dreamed about the universal battery? No time to think. He had missed his stop. The station was rolling in - Xrini jumped out of his seat and exited the door.

He knew he would go down to the concourse level and then catch the metro going in the opposite direction, he would be back at Chembur in no time. He was lucky as he saw the Chembur-headed train standing on the platform as he was coming up the escalator on the other side. He jumped the last few steps and entered the train - in the nick of time - he entered, and the automatic metro-train door had closed behind him.

He sat down to catch his breath. He opened his phone to check the m-indicator map. There were a couple of stations before he reached Chembur. Satisfied, he pocketed his cellphone. The train started to slow down for the next stop.

“You have reached the last stop. Kindly alight here”, the announcer said.

He saw all the people were getting down. Xrini got up from his seat and started to follow them. Why was the train ending its journey? He tried to get to the last passenger, to get directions. But he was slow, the last passenger disappeared down the stairway in a hurry. Xrini looked for some signs on why the metro was stopping short. He looked towards the driver side - he was two carriages away – maybe there was a guard there to provide an explanation.

He saw past the train’s first compartment – the horizon was dark, but in the dim brightness of dawn, he could see the end of the tracks, behind which sparks were flying. Did the girders in front of the train collapse?  Why was no one else panicking? Were the rest of the people smart enough to get off this elevated platform. His walk had slowed down as he stared into the dim brightness and contemplated an exit down the stairway behind him.

There were no announcements too. Didn’t he just a few minutes ago pass this way when he had missed his stop? And now this return-train could not get back to Chembur?

Xrini’s mind reeled from the flash of thoughts running in his brain. The train lights went off and it started to move forward towards the darkness. Was it rolling towards its impending doom? Xrini started to move forward subconsciously with the train and opened his mouth to shout when his eye fell on the reflection of the metro’s glossy exterior.

“DRUNK-MAN”, the reflection of the station read.

Mankhurd- he smiled at himself. He stood there looking at the station name, scratching his head. How had he reached the end of the line?  He looked on, as the train stopped in the distance, the lights came on, a bleak sun started to break the morning sky. It showed Xrini, the surrounding creek faraway. Xrini looked on as he made out shapes of men at work on cranes welding - sparks flying as they continued their work. The metro line over the creek from Mankhurd to Vashi was under construction. Mainland Bombay was being connected to New-Bombay.

Xrini boarded the next train to Dahisar-East, he smiled at his misadventure. He couldn’t wait to tell Sofia about it. He surmised, he had overslept the last stop, the train went into the yard, changed tracks and was on its way to Dahisar-East. He had woken up before Chembur at BSNL.

Then instead of taking a bit of time to think, he had jumped across and caught the opposite line back to Mankhurd - the end of the line.

“Next stop Chembur”, The announcer said.

He alighted the air-conditioned metro and as the foul smell hit him, he wondered whether Sofia would call him or not.

 

--- THE END ---